Forced Relationships
by nicsnort
Summary: Misuki is captured by the Akatsui and forced to date each male member! What the heck is the leader thinking! The Akatsuki is not that thrilled but the blue haired kunoichi makes them think twice about a permanent relationship. Akatsuki/OC Cover image by 123kitkit123 on deviantart Thanks!
1. Capture!

**I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

You strolled through the forest humming softly, "Shut up Tobi, un."

"But Deidara-senpei Tobi has to tell you something."

"Fine, what is it? Un."

"Tobi has to tell you Tobi is a good boy!"

"Tobi! You baka I'll kill you, un!"

"Ahhhhh…!" The voices were coming form the clearing up a head, as you approached it you saw two people running around in a circle; one was blonde with a high ponytail, the other's face was covered by a swirly orange mask, and they were both wearing a black cloak with red clouds. _'Crap the Akatsuki!' _you ducked behind a tree wondering what to do next. Knowing that this was the only safe path through the forest but you didn't know if they would attack you or let you be. _'Aw well I'll take the risk.'_ Reaching up you removed you hitai-ate and weapons placing them in to your pack. Stepping out from the cover of the trees you began to make your way through the clearing, pretending be a normal civilian.

"Tobi watch out un!" You looked to your right just as the masked Akatsuki member plowed in to you causing you to crash in to the ground.

"Oh no, Tobi sorry Tobi ran in to you!"

"That's okay," you said trying to push him off, "I should've been watching were I was going." The blonde walked over, wrenched Tobi off of you, and dragged him about ten feet away. You could hear their whispers and feel their glances as you hurriedly picked up your scattered items; looking up you saw them headed back towards you.

"Deidara-senpei and Tobi are going to help you pick up!"

"No thanks I can manage," but they did not listen.

"Here you go Tobi is a good boy! Deidara-senpei is a good boy too!" The masked man exclaimed handing over some scrolls.

"Shut up, un!"

"Thank you for helping me Tobi-san, Deidara-san."

"Your welcome…uh…uh…Tobi doesn't know your name."

"I'm Misuki."

"Tobi thinks that, that is a pretty name for a pretty girl!"

"Thanks for helping me, pleasant travels!" You turned only to find Deidara blocking your path.

"Not so fast we need you to come with us, Misuki-san."

"What?!" You squeaked stating to panic.

"Tobi sorry Misuki-chan," A hand came down on the back of you head and you blacked out.

* * *

Groggily you opened your eyes the back of your head was throbbing, focusing your eyes to the semi-darkness you took in your surroundings. The room you were in was plain no paint on the walls, no windows, and as far as you could see no door. You tried to move your hands but found them tied to the bed posts so you couldn't use a jutsu to free yourself, now was a time to panic. "Shit I've been captured by the fuck'n Akatsuki! Fuck'n hell! Damn it..." After several minutes of cussing and swearing you had finally clam down enough to think. "So how in the world am I going to I get out of here?"

"The only way we'll free you is if you do exactly what we say." The voice echoed around the room as nine figures appeared in the small room.

A figure bounded forward and untied your wrists, "Tobi sorry Tobi knocked you out but leader-sama told us to bring back a pretty girl so Deidara-senpei and Tobi chose you."

"Thanks…I guess," you sat up rubbing where the rope had dug in Tobi lifted you off your feet and led you over to the rest of the Akatsuki. You looked around spotting Deidara-senpei and another face you recognized even though you could only see half, he turned to wards you.

"Misuki-chan?!"

"Kisame-kun!"

He through his arms around you pulling tight against his chest, "I never thought I'd see you again. I thought you were dead!"

"Kisame-kun…I can't…breathe…" He let go apologizing, finally regaining your breath you hugged him back. "Nope! I'm alive and healthy!"

"Kisame-san you know this girl?" A man with numerous piercings asked.

"Hai Leader-sama! Misuki-chan is my younger sister." All the jaws of the Akatsuki dropped you watched, grinning, as they compared you with your bother.

"You looked nothing alike, un!"

"I looked plenty like nii-kun!

"How, un?"

"Well…we both have blue hair and…and…and… well there are other things!"

"But your hair is a lot lighter," Deidara taunted.

"It is bleached from the ocean, baka!"

"Enough!" The pierced man commanded, "Shouldn't you be leaving for your mission Kisame-san?"

"Hai Leader-sama." Kisame walked over to the wall and released the seal on it revealing the door. "If anyone harms my nii-chan," he said stepping out, "I will kill them very slowly." He shut the door with a snap, leaving you alone with the eight other Akatsuki members.

"So what do you what me to do?"

"You mean you'll do it?" The one Kisame had addressed as Leader-sama asked.

"Sure, you heard my onii-kun if you hurt me he'll kill you and anything is better than running from the leaf ANBU right now."

"Running from the leaf ANBU! What the heck did you do, un?!"

"Well…I believe I strayed to close to Kohana so they saw me as a threat. Oh yeah, you probably haven't seen the latest BINGO book so you wouldn't know that I'm officially ranked an S-class criminal! But please don't tell onii-san he'd hate to find out."

"Oh…well here's what I want you to do. I want you to go on a date with all my fellow Akatsuki members."

"What?!" The rest of the Akatsuki and you shouted.

"You heard me, I know the rest of you are tired of me being the only one to have a girl friend, so I thought if each of you dated her for a day then she would choose who she liked best and date him."

"But what about Kisame?! You sent him on a mission!" A white haired man bemoaned.

"My brother would rather have a fish than a girlfriend," you proclaimed earning disbelieving stares form them. "What you've never read his diary, not saying that he keeps one."

"Okay then…there's your answer Hidan-san, now Hoshigaki-san pull out a name from this hat to see who you'll date first." Leader-sama held out a rice hat with streamers hanging from it, you reached in and pulled out a thin piece of paper.

"Kakuzu, who's that?" Hidan pointed to the back of the group where a man was bent over counting money.

"Kakuzu-san! Pay attention!"

"Ahhh, Hidan! You made me lose count! One, two, three…"

"Kakuzu-san!"

"What?!"

"Tomorrow you'll take Misuki-san on a date!"

"What?! When did I agree to that!"

"You didn't Kakuzu-senpei but leader-sama said so!"

"But dates cost money!" Kakuzu whined to Leader-sama.

"I don't mind, I wouldn't want to go out on a date with a money whore anyways." You said above the arguing voices, they stopped their bickering and turned towards their leader.

"It's okay with me but only him," he said shrugging. "Come choose another name then."

You reached in to the hat again, "Uchiha Itachi."

* * *

**Just to tell you I won't be updating this that often but I will try to update a least once a month! And also I'm not sure if onii and nii are right (I think mean brother and sister if you didn't know) I tried looking them up but they kept giving me different translations! **


	2. Itachi Uchiha

**HI! I do not own Naruto! If I did it would be alot more random!!!!!  
Merry Christmas!!!**

* * *

Come in," Leader-sama's voice called when you knocked.

"Wanted to see me Leader-sama?" you said stepping inside and closing the door, looking around you saw them stoic face of the Uchiha.

"Hai, I need to give you and Itachi-san some ground rules for our little game: Firstly, there will be no killing or severely wounding the other. Second, you don't need to make any physical contact at all, only if you wish. Finally there must be at least thirty minutes of conversation but it can not be one sided." You snickered at the last one for from what Konan, the only female Akatsuki, had told you Itachi was not a big talker.

"With that I leave you to your own devices and you may leave any time you want but before sundown, please. Oh, and Itachi-san make sure you blindfold her before you leave."

You walked out with Itachi following behind you, "So when so you want to start Itachi-san?"

"We might as well get this over with before Leader-sama gets on our backs, lets go now."

"Oky-doky," You skipped merrily towards the door with Itachi was dragging his feet behind you, dreading this date.

"Can I take the blindfold off yet Itachi-san?"

"Fine we're here anyways." You removed the cloth from around your eyes and the village came into view, it was one of those resort villages that you had heard about but never been to.

"So what are we going to do Itachi-san?"

"Movie then dinner," he responded emotionlessly, as usual.

"Cool! That lets go!" You took off down the hill Itachi following behind you, he had removed his Akatsuki cloak and headband and was dressed the classic ninja under garb. The clothing you were in was borrowed from Konan long black pants, black boots, and a bright blue shirt a few shade darker than your hair with fishnet sleeves, you had removed your headband as well, for safety purposes. You soon reached the theater strolling inside you glanced around and saw nothing but overly excited little girls and their parents.

"Um…Itachi-san precisely what movie are we going to see?"

A blush rose to his cheeks, "The Magical Adventure of Twelve Ninja Princesses," he whispered softly.

"The Magical Adventure of the Twelve Ninja Princess! Awesome! I wanted to see that but I was on the run, thanks Itachi-san!" You threw your arms around his neck hugging him like a five year old.

"Let go."

"Sorry," after releasing him you skipped merrily over to the box office to get tickets.

Itachi led the way into the Soba shop and to a table after a few minutes a waitress with bleached blonde hair and big fake boobs came over to take your order.

"What can I get for 'ya," she asked flirt like to Itachi, complete ignoring you.

"I will have chicken soba with water and what about you Misuki-san?"

"I'll have the same, please."

"Okay two chicken sobas coming right up!" She walked away shaking her hips. Itachi looked at you emotionlessly you had to make him smile.

"So what did you think of the movie?"

"It was as I expected it to be, lacking in hatred, did you enjoy it?"

"Yes I did I must thank you again because it been forever since I've last sat down and watched a movie." There was a long pause, "So…um…who are partnered with?"

"Your brother."

"Really?! You're so lucky! My brother is the best fighter I've ever seen or fought especially with his massive amounts of charka tough he does become a little brainless when he fights, don't you agree?"

"Yes," Itachi said as the blonde came back over at this point carrying a large tray.

"Here you go!" She set Itachi's down carefully brushing her breasts against him and slammed yours down causing it to slosh over the edge."If there's anything else please don't hesitate to ask…" She walked away with a seductive smile on her face you looked over at the Uchiha who completely ignored her. _'He must get that a lot, he is very good looking.' _

The two of you didn't speak anymore until you had finished your food, "That was really good, thank you Itachi."

He didn't respond but was glaring at something over your shoulder you glanced back to see what fascinated him, leaf ninjas! "I think its time to go," he said just as they spotted us as well.

"Yes I totally agree," sliding out of the booth the two of you headed for the door with the leaf-nin following behind. They followed you to the outskirts of the village before we turned around to face them.

"So what the hell do you want?!" You demanded of them.

"You know what we want Misuki Hoshigaki, as an S-class criminal, we want your death."

"Well your just going to have to wait. I'm on a date right now please come back at another time or leave a message of profound threats and swearing after the beep.

_BEEP!_" Needless to say they didn't take kindly to your humor and drew their weapons.

Itachi stepped in front of you, "Stay behind me."

"Ah…can I fight them please? It's been such a long time I would have fought the ANBU but there were twelve of them and I was low on charka," He stood aside. "Arigato!!"

The middle ninja started towards you performing a series of hand signs, you leaped out of the way of his flame jutsu. "Come on I'm form the Mist village and you're going to use flame jutsu! Please!" You did a series of hand seals, water gushed from your mouth filling the valley with water. Cart-wheeling into the newly formed lake you nearly hit by another fire jutsu.

Under the water you heard one of the leaf-nins shout, "_**Water Prison Jutsu!"**_ A large bubble formed around your body sealing you inside. "Hah! Now we just need to wait for you to suffocate! Nitsu! Kyo! Take care of her 'date.'"

"You think I'll be rid of that easily," you said smugly, "All I need to do is wait for you to run out of charka."

"Shouldn't you be saving your breath you're already turning blue?"

"Nope, shouldn't you be more worried about your comrades?"

"No, they're both Jonin and can handle one non-ninja."

"Who ever said that he wasn't a ninja, he may not be wearing a hand-band but neither am I." Blood curdling screams came from the direction of Itachi the lone ninja turned his head and gasped his jutsu breaking. His fellows were sinking into the water obviously dead. He trembled as you rose from the water your skin was now as blue and scale-like as your brother with gills to match.

"Wh…wh…what?!?" He stammered as you lifted him a couple inches off the water.

"Sir I'd like you to meet my date Itachi Uchiha perhaps you've heard of him?"

"Itachi Uchiha!! Akatsuki!"

"That's right, so I'll let you live to tell Konoha that Misuki Hoshigaki has allied with her brother and the Akatsuki." Freeing your hold on him he dropped into the ice cold water, releasing your jutsu the water started to drain out of the valley.

You breast-stroked over to Itachi who was calmly falling with the water level, "So you wanna go back now?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to let him go?"

"Yeah if he doesn't die of hypothermia from the just above freezing water then my next dates and I will get to have some fun with them." He gave a small smirk that if you weren't looking really, really closely you wouldn't have been able to see. The water was gone completely now leaving you on your back on the dampened ground. Itachi extended a hand to you taking it he pulled you up onto your feet.

"Why did you turn blue while in the water?"

"You know how my brother is blue and fish-like all of the time," he nodded, "well he chooses to be like that." His eyes narrowed in question. "Okay, you see our clan could be like this all of the time it helps us with our jutsus but way back when one member came up with a jutsu that takes very, very little charka to turn our bodies to look like other humans, so we could blend in better. Most took to it right away but some, like my brother, thought that it was a shame on our family's pride so they didn't use it. I do, obliviously, many of my missions required it and it just became a habit to use it."

"I see…" He pulled the blindfold out of his pocket and tied it around your eyes. Bringing his hands down he cupped your cheeks tipping your head up. You could feel his breath against your skin slowly it came closer until…

A kunai whizzed behind your head, Itachi jerked away. Lifting the blindfold you saw a shivering, blue and wet leaf-ninja. Stomping over to him you grabbed the kunai from his other hand and slit his throat with it, "Teme! Let's go Itachi."

He pulled down the blindfold, lifted you into his arms bridal style, and took off with you the Akatsuki lair; thus officially ending your date with an uncompleted kiss.

* * *

**Okay this is what I want you to do... VOTE! Please tell me who you want Misuki to date (Please do not vote Kisame, Pein, or Konan but anyone else is fine!)**


	3. Deidara

**Sorry this took so long to get up but I'm not really a Deidara fangirl (but this one is actually longer than Itachi's)**

**P.S. I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

The Akatsuki had gathered again even Kakuzu was there, though nobody knew why. Misuki reached her hand into the hat and drew another name, "Deidara."

"Yes, un!"

"Good Misuki go rest up and Deidara came with me so I can brief you on the rules."

* * *

The next morning…

There was a rapid knocking at your door, "Misuki get up, un!"

"Mom five more minutes," You whined.

"I'm not a woman!" Deidara yelled there was a silence then, "KATSU!" The door was blown off it hinges to reveal a very pissed off Deidara.

"What?" You asked sleepily still not full awake. Deidara rushed over, scooped you up, threw you over his back then ran out.

"Deidara put me down!" You screeched realizing what he was doing. "You fuck'n pervert! I'm not even dressed! I only have my underwear on! Why did you bust down my door?! I'm so going back to my room and if you follow me I'll kill you! BAKA!!" You stormed off in a huff, upon returning to your room you shoved the door back into its frame and hurriedly changed before anyone else burst in.

There was a light knocking at the door, "Who is it?"

"Me…Listen I'm sorry, un I was just mad that you called me a woman, un."

"Whatever I forgive you Deidara-baka." You opened the door and saw what you least expected: Tobi holding Deidara by his ponytail and a kunai pressed against his throat. You shut the door then reopened it slowly Tobi was now skipping away merrily leaving a furious Deidara, with messed up hair, behind.

"Does that happen often?" You asked.

"No! He's never done that before," he replied angered and stunned, "Misuki I am kinda sorry though, un."

"Yeah and I'm kinda sorry I called you a woman."

"Great now that we've cleared that up let's get going, un!"

"What? It's only 8 o'clock!

"Yep! Because it will take us awhile to get there and it's an all day activity! Un!" He grabbed you by the hand and pulled you along to the door, you passed Konan who looked bewildered at Deidara dragging you. He hurriedly tied the blindfold around your eyes throwing you over his shoulder you could feel him open the door and leap in to the air. He set you down gently and told you to hold on to him, you felt a large lurch then wind rushing past your face.

"Okay you can look now, un!" Reaching up you removed the blindfold you were on a giant bird that was flying! Giving a gasp of shock you clenched Deidara's arm even tighter, you soon got over your initial fear.

"This is great Deidara!" You hugged him tightly.

"I know most people don't enjoy it I can't see why, un."

"Maybe they don't trust you."

"Maybe, just enjoy the ride, un." You released your arms and laid back you soon fell asleep, '_stupid Deidara waking you up so early_.'

* * *

"Misuki wake up," you groaned and batted the hand away from your shoulder. There was the slight swishing sound of something being thrown then…BANG!!!!!!! The explosion above your head forced you to wake. That blonde knuckle-headed ninja had just woken you again!

"DEIDARA!!! I was sleeping!!" You screeched.

"You weren't waking up and I knew that would, un."

"Fuck you bastard," jumping down form the clay bird you looked around your location looked familiar. _'Where have I seen this landscape before?'_

"Deidara…where are we?"

"A secluded area not from the main city of the Crescent Moon Island," he said beginning to walk eastward. _'That's right I was here when I was traveling with that circus.'_

After treading through the thick forest for a while the trees thinned until you came to the outskirts of the city, you noticed that music and laughter were drawing closer the farther towards the center of town you went. Soon you started to see confetti on the ground and small party items, with the music getting ever louder.

"Deidara, why did you bring me here?"

"Because their having a festival!" You turned one last corner and a wave of sound hit you full blast. People were walking around and laughing, kid were running around little toys clutched in their sweaty hands, street vendors were calling out their goods, and a parade walked noisily down the street providing all sorts of music and entertainment.

"Come on, un," Deidara said grabbing your wrist pulling you down the street and in to a small crowded restaurant to have breakfast.

* * *

Deidara led you out of the restaurant you had a very nice meal and conversation. He had discussed art and its many forms well mainly you had told him of art's different forms Deidara was insistent one believing that art was fleeting and anything else wasn't art.

You passed shops and stands of all sorts he was leading the way and you had no idea of where he was going, finally he stopped in front of a stand that had a big sign over the entrance: "Sculpture Contest Today! Walk-ins Welcome! Beginning at Eleven o'clock!" He started to chuckle manically and an evil grin appeared one his face as he looked at his watch, it was only a quarter to eleven.

"Wanna whoop their asses?" You asked as a pair of arrogant looking men walked in arguing about which one of them was going to win.

"Very much, un."

"Then enter," you suggested. He nodded and you followed him inside, a blonde woman asked him if he wanted to enter he answered yes and she gave him a clipboard which he wrote his name on. Handing her the board back se showed the both of you to the perpetration room and Deidara's station.

"You have until eleven to organize your work space and prepare your model then the competition will begin."

"Model what is she talking about?" You asked Deidara.

"Every good sculptor needs a model, un."

"Well that makes sense, so…what's your model?"

"You," your face flushed red as Deidara began moving your arms and legs into the position he wanted you in.

The curtain opened up reveling the crowd of spectators, an exuberantly dressed commentator strolled lazily across the stage.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to Crescent Moon Island Semi-annual Sculpture Competition!" The crowd roared in delight. "Now let me go over the rules for today! The contestants will have two hours to copy their model using what ever material they want but it must be life size! Most of our contestants have all competed before but we have one! Yes one! Newbie here! So let's introduce him!" He walked over to Deidara.

"So tell us about yourself?" Deidara looked rather surprised but took the microphone anyways.

"…I'm Deidara…and I'm from the Land of Stone, un…" He said awkwardly.

"Well isn't that just splendid," the announcer said, "We've never had anyone from the Land of Stone before this will make for quit an exciting competition don't you think?" The audience roared again. "Okay, then lets begin!" Two men in at the far end of the stage flipped a large hourglass and the sand begun to leak out.

Over the next two hours you watched Deidara sculpt the clay he had in his pouches. His fingers craftily ran over it modeling the clay to do his bidding, as you stood there you saw how little mouths on his hands chewed the clay making it easier to mold. _Interesting…_

After awhile your mind started to wonder what those fingers and mouths could do to you? What would it feel like if he ran those fingers against your skin molding them to his will? And did your brother know the plans that Leader-sama had when he left?

The hourglass' sand was nearing its finish and everyone was putting the finishing touches on their work. "Three…two…one!"

The commentator walked back on to the stage followed by three contemptuous looking judges. The three began to examine the statues none of which had as much detail as Deidara's, '_he is so going to win.'_ You walked over to Deidara who was standing proudly next to his work.

"I can see you're not worried."

"Of course not, un, these people are just posers." The judges were nearing your table now their clipboards were heavy with checks and 'x's. They here now, comparing yourself to the statue.

"Well I definitely know who won," The fat bald judge said scratching his chin.

"Yep," agreed the small old lady. They walked over to the announcer and whispered their choices in his ear; he looked surprised but nodded his head smiling.

"And…in a landfall win, our newest contestant, Deidara!"

"Of course, un," you heard him say as went up to accept his prize.

* * *

It was dark out when you finally left, Deidara helped you up on to his clay bird and you took off beginning to circle the city.

"Why aren't we going Deidara," you asked yawning.

"Well you don't think I'm going to let that ignorant prick keep my art do you, un?" His hands came up to make the ram seal, "KATSU!" A giant blast in the harbor nearly threw you off the bird, if it hadn't been for the chakra in your feet it would've. Flames were issuing form the docks down below and screams were floating up to your ears. You were both laughing so hard your sides could burst as he directed the bird back to the base.

Leaning against him you gazed up at the stars rushing past, he out an arm around your waist and hugged you to him. It was all strangely relaxing and soon you drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Deidara glanced down at the sleeping Misuki bending down he gave her light kiss on the lips whishing she hadn't of fallen asleep and that she could be awake to respond to his kiss. The base was coming into sight now when they landed he didn't wake her but gently lifted her in to his arms and carried her to the his room. Setting her down and the cot he brushed her bangs away from her face and Deidara grabbed the extra blanket so he could sleep on the couch.

* * *


	4. Tobi

**I don't own NAruto and I'm sorry for this taking almost 3 months to put up! Gomen Nasai!**

* * *

"DEIDARA-SENPAI!!!!!" The kid-like voice was met by Tobi dive bombing the bed where you slept.

"WHAT THE F***!" You sat up screaming.

"You're not Senpai, what did you do with him? Did you have a sleepover with him?" You gazed up at the innocent masked kid.

"I have no idea where Deidara is and I did not have a sleepover with him…at least I hope not I can't remember much of last night after the explosion…why did you think I was Deidara?"

"Because Misuki is in Senpai's bed."

"WHAT?!?!" You searched the room with your eyes there were bits of clay littered on the floor along with several large bags of it in the corner this was definitely not the plain room they had moved you into.

"Get off me Tobi." He scrambled off running towards the door as I stormed out in search of Deidara.

"DEIDARA!" You shouted ferociously when you saw him coming out of the bathroom. He stopped to look at you his hair wet from the shower.

"Deidara! Why the hell did I wake up in your room?!"

"Because you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you, and my bed is a lot comfier than the bed you were sleeping in, un."

"Thank you…but where did you sleep?"

"The couch, un."

"Thank God you didn't sleep with me then I would've gotten really worried."

"Why?" You stared at him with an "OMG you're an idiot" look.

"Oh I see…may I take you to breakfast, un?"

"That would be very nice, thank you Deidara." He extended his arm for you to take, which you did rather surprised by his politeness.

* * *

The entire Akatsuki besides Leader-sama was crowded around the small table while you washed their plates, glasses, and utensils. Konan stood as the multi-pierced leader enter the kitchen holding the hat which carried the slips of paper for today's date. Drying your hands you reached into the hat withdrawing yet another slip.

"Oh…Tobi."

"YAY!!! Tobi is a good boy!!! See Deidara-senpai Tobi isn't last! Tobi gets to go on a date!!!!"

Your eye twitched violently as Tobi danced about the room, it looked like he was about to burst into song like we were in _Akatsuki: the musical_ (coming to a theater near you! February 30th.) The masked ninja suddenly stopped his prancing and stared at you intently.

"Misuki-chan…what's a date?"

* * *

You sighed heavily as Tobi lead you from stall to stall, after he had asked what a date is you told him it was when a boy and a girl go out in public and do stuff together having a good time. Unfortunately he was the only one having fun at the boardwalk he brought you to, you could hear the crashing of the waves only a few feet below and you wanted to dive right in.

"Misuki-chan look," Tobi exclaimed pointing out towards the ocean. You followed the trail of his finger towards a pair of dolphins that were jumping up and down enthusiastically.

"Awesome! Can we go swimming now?!" You asked, hoping the sight of dolphins would make him want to join them.

"Um…okay Misuki-chan but…," Tobi stammered twiddling is thumbs.

"But what?"

"Tobi can't swim very well…"

"You can't swim," you started to giggle, you saw Tobi's face fall even threw his mask, "I'm sorry Tobi I can teach you how to swim if you want."

"Yes! Thank you Misuki-chan! Tobi loves you!"

"Great, let's go down to the beach!" You grabbed his hand dragging him off towards the beach.

* * *

"Misuki-chan it's hard for Tobi to breath," he complained as you led him into one of the caves that dotted the coast.

"Duh, you have that mask on if you'd take it off it'd be easier."

"Take off my mask…?"

"Yeah silly it's covering your nose and mouth no wonder you're having trouble," you reached up and thoughtlessly removed his swirled mask.

"No!" He yelled diving beneath the water before you could see his face he swam away from you towards the back of the cave. You raced after him,_ 'boy, for just learning how to swim he sure is fast.'_ Finally he stopped when he reached the shallow back corners of the cave just beyond the reach of light.

"Tobi…?"

"Don't come any closer."

You ignored his command and approached him slowly you put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. Instantly his hands shot up to cover his face even though he was surrounded by shadow, "Don't look Misuki-chan Tobi doesn't want to scare you."

"Scare me? My brother looks like a shark…Hell I look like a shark I'm sure you can't scare me."

"You look like shark Misuki-chan?"

"Yeah and I'll show you if you show me your face," you bargained hopefully.

"…you first right?"

"Yeah," bringing your hands up you formed the ram seal and released the jutsu. "See shark…now it's your turn."

"Tobi is not so sure about this Misuki-chan…"

"We had a deal or do you want me to tell Deidara-san?"

"NO!! Tobi will show you!" You heard the intake of a steeling breath as he lowered his hands and Tobi stepped into the light. Blood rushed to your face and you turned your head away quickly.

"See you can't look at Tobi you think Tobi is scary and ugly!"

"No! It's not that it's just…um…you see it's quite the opposite…"

"Opposite?"

"Yeah you're really…um…hot."

"Hot? But Tobi doesn't feel hot."

"Not hot as in temperature but as in really good-looking, cute, but handsome too not too cute just—"

Tobi pressed a finger to your lips silencing you, "then I think you hot too." His voice was different than it was a few seconds before it was deeper, richer, and hypnotic.

"Tobi?" Your voice quivered as he ran his cold fingers down your neck and across your shoulder. They skated down your arm slowing wrapping around your upper arm he backed up pulling you along with him into the shadows. You were too shocked to do anything besides let him lead you to the back of cave where he gently pushed you, until your back was almost scraping the cavern wall. Water lapped against your stomach as Tobi approached you encircling your waist with his cool arms and drawing you up against him, he was a several inches taller than you and you looked up to see his eyes glowing red in the dim light.

"Misuki-chan," he whispered dipping his head. An electric shock seemed to run the course of your body when his lips met yours they were soft and moist. He licked your bottom lip causing you to open your mouth slightly allowing him access to the sweet interior. You moaned softly as his tongue explored you mouth loving at first then becoming more passionate, your moans became louder with each heated stroke of his tongue.

He moved his mouth away from yours causing you to groan in displeasure but it was quickly silenced when began to give your neck light butterfly kisses; he ran them all across your light blue skin when he reached the base of your neck just above your he bit down, hard. A combined gasp of pain and pleasure escaped your lips and you felt Tobi smile while he was still sucking and nipping that spot. Tobi pushed you back so that you were now flush against the stone wall of the sea cave, the sudden meeting of you dried skin to the clod damp granite brought you back to your senses and to the realization that the water which had been around your hips when you entered was now approaching your breasts.

"Tobi," you gasped, "the tide is coming in we need to get out of here!" He pulled back quickly grabbing you by the waste he lifted you up into his arms then started running out of the cave staying on top of the water by pushing charka into the soles of his feet.

* * *

You yawned and snuggled deeper into Tobi's arms, you had watched the sunset together and he was now carrying her back to the lair; he hadn't tried to kiss you again but you didn't mind you didn't know how far they would've gone if the tide interrupted them and the thought rather scared you. You yearned to remove the blindfold which was getting very itchy but you didn't dare even though she could tell they were moving fast enough that the surroundings would be blurred. Tobi slowed and came to a stop you were set down and heard the poof a seal being released then the clunk of a heavy metal door, you pushed inside the door was shut and Tobi removed the blindfold. You spun around to see his face again but were greeted by the swirled orange mask.

"Tobi's hungry let's have cookies!" His voice was high pitched and kid-like again as he ran towards the kitchen yelling about cookies.

"Come on Misuki-chan!" he called. You shrugged and ran after him for cookies.

* * *

**Yay! Tobi's a good boy!  
Remember to vote for the winning member!**


	5. Kakuzu

**You gazed sleepily at the ninja around you reaching into the hat you pulled out the one of the three remaining slips, "It says Kakuzu."**

"**What the fuck Kakuzu! I thought you didn't want to do this?!" Hidan yelled at his partner.**

"**Well that was before…"**

"**Before what?!"**

"**Before I…looked at her…then I thought she was worth spending money on…" Kakuzu's voice trailed off sheepishly; you blushed a deep red as he did.**

**Hidan burst out laughing, "Oh Jashin this is fuckin' good! Who would've that this hard-ass heathen would want to spend money! On a fucking girl no-less!"**

"**Shut up you idiot!" Kakuzu hit Hidan over the head sending into the wall. Hidan leapt up cursing, seeing the signs of an impending fight you ducked out of the room and headed to the barren room you were kept in to sleep.**

* * *

**Kakuzu woke you the next morning with a less than pleased expression, "Hurry up before --"**

"**Kakuzu-senpai! Where are you?"**

"**Shit hurry! He's been bugging me ever since last night."**

**You leapt out of bed and threw on your clothes; as soon as you were finished he grabbed your arm and dragged, you threw the halls to the entrance. Pulling out a thick cloth for a blindfold just before he tied it around your eyes you saw Tobi running down the hall. **

"**Kakuzu-senpai! Misuki-chan!"**

"**Crap!" Kakuzu hoisted you over his shoulder and ran out the door. You could feel his legs pumping up and down as you flopped uncomfortably on his shoulder. After five minutes of your stomach being rammed into him, he slowed and set you down on a log. You reached up to remove the blindfold but he smacked your hand away.**

"**We're not far enough away for you remove that yet."**

"**Okay…then why did we stop?" **

"**I thought you would find it more comfortable to be carried a different way."**

"**Oh yes thanks," you stood up and your head collided with his chest stumbling backwards your feet caught on something and you toppled over the log. Wind rushed over your ears as you fell but the ground didn't catch you like you had expected, instead you plummeted towards the rushing river you could now hear beneath you.**

'_**What idiot puts a blindfolded person near the edge of a cliff!' **_**you thought venomously.**

**The sound of the rampaging river was going ever closer, you tried to right yourself but to no effect; suddenly something wrapped around your waist and you were pulled to a stop. Water from the river spray jumped greeting you as if all most to say: "see how close you were to death, Misuki." You were pulled up slowly finally you felt Kakuzu's hand grab you under the shoulder and heaving you over the cliff's edge.**

"**Idiot you could've died," Kakuzu scolded you as he hoisted you on to his back.**

"**I'm the idiot?! You're the fool who put a blindfolded person next to a cliff!"**

"**If you don't shut up next time I'll push you off!" You shut your mouth immediately and were quiet the rest of the journey.**

* * *

**You sighed heavily and glowered at the money whore in front of you. Kakuzu had been leading you around a park all day because "walking doesn't cost anything." **_**'Well guess what Kakuzu-baka it does!' **_**you thought angrily, '**_**it costs a whole lot of my time when I could be having fun!' **_

**Suddenly you stopped and smiled evilly, "Oh Kakuzu-san," said called in a sickly sweet voice.**

"**What?"**

"**Are you even paying attention?"**

"**What do you--" He stopped in mid-sentence as a kunai whizzed past his face.**

"**Misuki Hoshigaki," a hidden voice said, "we are under orders to arrest you and your partner to be brought to the Leaf village for interrogation."**

"**Show me who you are and I may come in peace," you suggested to them.**

"**Like we'd be that foolish!" One shouted throwing another kunai from behind the tree where he was hiding.**

"**Well one can hope," you sighed, "I guess we'll just have to do this the fun way." Quickly making hand signs your chest expanded and water gushed from your mouth. The park was now completely flooded civilians popped up from the depths panicking, some struggling to swim. You laughed darkly at their misfortune dropping into the water you avoided the rain of kunai from the leaf-nins. Watching the ninja falling from above you gasped as strings swept them aside. Sticking your eyes above the water you saw Kakuzu's arms and hands stretching impossible distances attached only by strings.**

'_**That must have been how he saved me from falling into that river,' **_**you thought watching his freakish jutsu with slight disgust. Kakuzu caught two of the Leaf ANBU by their throats pulling his arms in; they re-attached themselves with the string he had been using to control them. The ANBU choked and sputtered as he crushed their windpipes, soon he let them fall into the water they floated for a few moments then sank to the bottom.**

"**Hebi! Neko!" One of their two remaining comrades called in distress. He started to run at the Frankenstein-ed Akatsuki member but you jumped out of the water and kicked his feet out from underneath him. He would've fallen back but you caught him and held a kunai to his neck.**

"**I remember you," you said dangerously, "You're the one who took my sword, so tell me, where is it?"**

"**I-I-I don't know what you're talking about," he sputtered.**

"**Of course you do, don't you remember Buta?" He didn't answer only tried to wriggle from your grasp. "Fine if you don't tell me I'll just have to take the answer from you." Opening your mouth as far as it would go and bit his neck puncturing the jugular vein. Warm, rich, red blood bathed your face in four short bursts it was over and the pig masked ANBU was sinking down coming to rest on the grassy bottom.**

"**Fool if you'd just told me I wouldn't have killed you…possibly. Kakuzu-san finish that one off we need to hurry to the Leaf weapons lab before those meddling Leaf scientists figure out how to replicate my hand crafted sword."**

"**Very well," he said snapping the neck of the last Konoha ninja, "Get on my back and we'll go." Running over to him you leapt on to his backside and landed with a thud, Kakuzu stood and shoot off towards the direction of Konoha.**

* * *

**You fingered your blood red sword lightly like it was glass, "Hello Chi I'm glad they hadn't gotten to testing you yet…and there's Choushi too," you picked up your specially designed sheath and tied it around your waist. Sheathing your sword you smiled at its familiar weight. **

"**Let's go, I'll even buy dinner," you grinned happily.**

* * *

**You leaned against Kakuzu blushing deeply, "hehe… your face is funny *hiccup* it's like *hiccup* all stitchy and stuff *hiccup*. Wow…*hiccup* everything all fuzzy *hiccup*." You drained your bake glass for the tenth time that night and tried to reach for another but Kakuzu stopped you.**

"**I think you've had enough," he said lifting you from your stool and picking you up bridal style.**

"**Oh Kakuzu-kun your so strong," you said giggle madly. Reaching your head up you kissed him clumsily on the lips. "Kakuzu-kun," you whispered softly nestling into his arms.**

"**Misuki-chan?" But you didn't respond you had blacked out from to much alcohol. He sighed deeply and muttered something about kids before heading back to the Akatsuki lair.**


	6. Hidan part one

**I'm sorry I'm such a horrible person! I haven't updated in over a year! I'm sooo soorrrrrrryyy! and its only part one! I promise it won't take so long for part two or the last two chapters!  
I do not own Naruto!**

* * *

You woke up groggily your head pounding, "Oh my Kami what happened last night?"

"You got drunk last night with Kakuzu."

You looked over at the disapproving and very familiar voice. "Hi Nii-kun…" You smiled sheepishly, looking at him standing in the doorway fuming.

"Don't "Hi Nii-kun" me! What were you thinking? We're the most dangerous criminals in the shinobi world!"

"Well that's what Leader-sama wanted me to do!"

"But you just can't date us! We are S-class criminals!"

"Well so am I!" You yelled back at him unthinkingly and immediately regretted it.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Kisame stormed over and lifted you from the bed by your shirt. "HOW COULD YOU BECOME AN S-CLASS CRIMINAL LIKE ME? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY SAFE AND QUIT BEING A NINJA! WHAT WERE YOU THINKNING?"

"Well you did tell me to stop being a ninja so I did now I'm a mercenary for hire; unfortunately one of my last jobs boosted me to the prestigious rank of an S-class criminal."

"And just what was that job?" he growled.

"To assassinate the Daimyo of the Land of Fire."

"And did you succeed?"

"Why do you think the Leaf-nin are after me?"

There was a pained look on his face and you could tell he was fighting down a simile. "Well I guess there's nothing we can do about it now, come on lets go have breakfast." You groaned when he flicked on the light, flooding your eyes with light, "And something for that hangover."

* * *

Your head was throbbing as you sat at the small table in the Akatsuki's kitchen, you had drunk the tonic Kisame had given you but it still was not removing your hangover-ache. Hidan's voice seemed to bust your eardrums as he complained loudly.

"Shut up Hidan," you groaned dropping formalities but either he did not hear you or did not care.

"Shut up Hidan!" You growled hitting him.

"What did you say?" He exclaimed loudly.

"I said shut the fuck up!"

He laughed loudly his voice ringing in your ears, "Wow Kisame your little sister has quite the fuckin' mouth on her!"

The pressure in your head was at its limit, standing suddenly you withdrew your sword and in a single sweep beheaded the annoying man. The room was silent and the pain in your head decreased to the point where you could think clearly, looking down at the bloody head you realized what you had done. "Oops," you said sheepishly.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU FUCKIN' BITCH!" The disembodied head yelled.

"Holy God Damn Motherfucker! He's still talking!"

"OF COURSE I'M STILL ALIVE! JASHIN-SAMA WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO BE KILLED BY A COCK-SUCKER LIKE YOU!"

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu said picking the infuriating head but the ends of the hair.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! JUST HURRY UP AND PUT MY HEAD BACK ON YOU DAMNED HEATHEN!" Kakuzu sighed tired of Hidan's constant whining; his threads pierced Hidan's skin and reattached it to the stump of a neck as it had done many times before. When it was, fully reattached Hidan cracked his neck and glowered at you so evilly that you skirted over and hide behind Kisame.

"Knock it off," Pein said to Hidan then turning to you, he raised his hands, "Right or Left?"

You hesitated your eyes shifting between the two people that you had not gone on a date with, Zetsu the freaky plant dude and Hidan the asshole that wanted you dead. Taking a deep breath you whispered, "Left." Pein opened his left hand and showed you the slip of paper, in messy handwriting was the name Hidan.

"Kami damn it!" you swore looking at Hidan who was smiling triumphantly and maliciously at you.

* * *

Kakuzu and Zetsu were restraining your brother as he fought gallantly trying to stop you from leaving with Hidan. However, you accepted your fate bravely after running up to your room and grabbing all your weapons to bring along, of course. Hidan was waiting for you in the entryway and he smiled maliciously as you approached, "ready?"

"As I'll ever be," you sighed. As soon as you finished Hidan forcefully tied the blindfold around your eyes, he hoisted you over his shoulder.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"No," you hissed trying to wriggle into a more comfortable position.

"Good," he replied turning around and you could imagine the arrogant smirk on his face. As he carried you out of the lair, he whacked your head on the doorframe, which was no accident.

* * *

You sighed extremely bored, Hidan had been carrying you for hours but he was not running sprinting or even jogging, he was walking. _'I wonder if he would run if I had gas?' _you pondered giggling; you see after the first hour or so you had stopped worrying about Hidan killing you and your thoughts had drifted off to some really weird topics, like the one you were thinking of now.

"What are you giggling about?" Hidan asked.

"Oh, nothing," you said giggling again.

"Whatever cocksucker."

"Hahahahaha," you burst out laughing.

"WHAT?"

"You said cock!" Hidan let out an exasperated sound and threw you to the ground.

"Shut up!" He yelled raising his scythe and bringing it down over your head, luckily you rolled away before it hit you heard the thump. Moving your hand to the side, you felt the three blades sunk half way into the ground.

"You asshole my head was there!"

"I know," he said dangerously pulling his weapon out of the ground and pressing the blade against your throat, "Now be quiet, bitch."

"Okay I'll be quiet," you said standing carefully trying not to provoke him anymore, "Now are we almost there?"

"Yes, we're approaching the target now, so you can take off the blind fold…bitch."

"You just had to add bitch to the end of that didn't you?" You asked taking off the blindfold, "bastard."

"Whore."

"Asshole."

"Cock-sucker."

"Motherfucker."

"Ass-wipe."

"Retard."

"Ass-Fucker!"

"Slut!"

"Faggot!"

"Hooker!"

"Prick!"

"Cunt-Face!"

"Fucktard!

"Platapussy!"

"Floozy!"

"Psycho Glitter bitch!"

"Hung like an Elf!" With every insult, you and Hidan took a step closer to each other until you were only a few inches apart. You stood glowering at each other then a snap of a branch bought you both back to your senses. Looking to the source of the noise you spotted a man with a very shady appearance.

"You know," the man leered, "there's a toll for walking past here." His gaze roved over you making you shiver.

"We're not going to pay any fucking toll! You electric donkey bottom biter!"

"Then I guess we'll have to take it by force," he snapped his fingers and eleven more bandits dropped down from the trees encircling them.

"Ohhh, I'm so scared," you said sarcastically drawing your sword, "shall we divide them up evenly Hidan-san?"

"No way, bitch, they're all mine, now stand back and witness the power of Jashin-sama!" He swung his scythe wildly, cutting a few of the men closet to him; he kept swinging the blades around wildly, causing you to jump out of the way when the weapon came dangerously close to slicing you as well.

"Hey watch it asshole! You nearly got me too, though it wouldn't do much damage if it did! Why the hell are you only cutting them, take off a head or two!"

"Shut up, you whore! And prepare to witness the power of my Lord Jashin!" He raised his scythe high above his head, seeing the opening three of the bandits dove at him, plunging their weapons into his abdomen.

"Oh good going genius! Now I'll have to save your ass since gone and got yourself wounded!" You went to draw your sword but stopped when you heard Hidan chuckling darkly, his eyes were hooded and the blood painting his body gave him a very ominous appearance.

He raised his head, eyes gleaming with madness, his laughter grew into that of a maniac's. "Now behold the almighty power of Jashin-sama!" There seemed to be a great rise in dramatic music as he licked his scythe clean of the bandit's blood and drew Jashin's symbol on the ground in his own blood. Nothing happened.

The bandits chuckled softly. "Looks like your god has abandoned you," the leader said, he moved in so he was facing Hidan, who was still grinning insanely, with an upward stroke he sliced Hidan's left calf. Suddenly all but a few of the thugs fell clutching their calf in same place Hidan was cut.

"What the hell?" you yelled in shock, this was not what you had expected. Hidan was laughing again as with drew a long pike from his cloak, and put the tip over his heart. "Usually I'd have a little fun and draw this out but I'm feeling impatient today, you cock-sucking atheists!" Hidan raised the pike and plunged it in to his heart.

The bandits fell to the ground clutching their chests, but after a moment they were still.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" you screamed, running over to Hidan who had fallen as well.

"I told you I'd show the power of Jashin-Sama, not shut-up I'm trying to pray," the Jashinist said not opening his eyes.

Composing yourself you sniffed haughtily, "fine, I'll just go kill the rest of them, jackass." Before he could respond you ran off after the few bandits he had not killed.


	7. Hidan part two

**okay one more chapter left, remember to vote for whom Misuji gets to date! and sorry this one is so short! I don't own NARUTO!**

* * *

You returned quickly enough, it hadn't taken you long to slice those men into pieces. "I'm back, ding-bat" You said gazing down at Hidan, who hadn't moved since you left.

Hidan snarled, "Really that's the best you can come up with?"

"No, but I thought it was funny." He opened one lilac to peer at you with disbelief.

"You thought that was funny, bitch? I'll show you funny. You empty headed, animal food trough wiper!"

"Oh really?" You said standing over him, "Well I fart in you general direction!" You turned presenting your arse to him.

He sat up knocking to you knees, "Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of elderberries."

You turned aghast, "Don't bring my parents into this! You snotty heap of parrot droppings."

"Ohh…what a touchy, little herpes face."

"Shut your festering gob, you twit!"

Hidan moved so he was crouching in front of you, his warm breath caressing your ear. "Make me, bitch." Your hand clasp around the handle of your katana and you brought it up in an elegant arc. The tip sliced Hidan as he leapt back, a thin line a blood appeared on the blood free area of his upper-chest. Hidan laughed manically and swung his tri-bladed scythe towards you. Both of you completely forgetting Leader-sama's rule about not killing each other.

Approximately half an hour later both of you weapons were lying forgotten off to the side of the road. You had now resorted to yelling at each other and throwing the occasional punch. "You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey dung!" With every insult the two of you took a step towards each other until you were nearly touching chests. Your eyes were trying to bore a hole through his head almost most a foot above yours but he stared right back at you his violet eyes flashing red.

The two of you simply stood there for a few seconds looking at each other, blood boiling, and chests heaving. What happened next seemed to occur in slow motion but took place within a single breath. Hidan grabbed your upper arm pulling your body tightly against his and smothered your lips with his. He ran his tongue along your bottom lip in an attempt to get you to open your mouth but you stubbornly denied him entry. You felt Hidan growled at your defiance, grabbing your other arm he practically slammed you against the nearest tree causing you to gasp. Taking advantage of your now open mouth Hidan's tongue swept inside running along the sensitive nerves of your inner mouth. You moaned at the sensation and flicked your own tongue around fighting Hidan. His hands released your arms one sliding up your neck to cup the back of your head the other wrapping around your waist drawing you closer to him.

Subconsciously you ran your hands along Hidan's fully exposed chest to grab him around his neck pulling him into to an even deeper kiss. Every time his tongue brushed against you're a firey tingle shot though your body coming to rest in your stomach soon it felt as though their was a pot of lava gathered there. Hidan moved the hand that held your head down to cup your breast , he squeezed it playfully and you gasped into the kiss. You felt him smile as he moved away from your lips bypassing your neck to kiss right along the edge of your shirt and breasts. In your mind you were trying to figure out whether this kiss was better than Tobi's, then Hidan's tongue ran along the edge of your nipple and all thoughts were wiped from your mind.

Just as Hidan was about to lift your breast from your shirt when he was wrenched away by a large blue hand. "What the hell do you think you are doing to my nee-chan?"

Kisame growled tossing Hidan away from you.

"What the fuck dude!" Hidan yelled jumping and wiping the dirt from his butt.

"Nii-San! We were just…I was…"

"I know what you were doing now you are coming back with me, right now! I don't care what Leader-sama says!" He grabbed your wrist violently and dragged you away from the tree, forcefully reminding you when you were a child.

"Nii-san stop!" You wrenched you grasp away from him and heard a snap as your wrist broke. "FUCK!" You screamed cadling your hand to your chest!

"Misuki! I'm sorry I just…"

"I'm fine," you said through gritted teeth, "just lets go back to the compound and bandage it up."

"Okay," your brother said tying the blindfold around your eyes and lifting you up. "Come along maggot." He said to Hidan before taking off, hurrying to get you some medical attention, still seething on the inside about what you were doing with Hidan.


	8. Zetsu and the Decision!

**okay so this is it! The final chapter! I had intended this to be really short but then I read too many Zetsu fanfiction and decided I need to do more for him! Also this chapter cotains a little bit of yaoi, so younger readers...oh who am I kdding you'll read it anyways! Please enjoy! And thank you to anyone who voted!**

**Black Zetsu  
**White Zetsu

* * *

You could hear your brother's voice through the door has he complained to Leader-sama about Hidan and how he wouldn't stand for anyone else to go on a date with his precious little sister. Personally you didn't see what the big deal was, after all, it wasn't like you were completely out of control with Hidan and you were planning on doing probably would have happened sometime, you are a healthy growing adult after all…well adult enough… Your brother's rant suddenly stopped and you could just make out the cold voice of Leader-sama.

"Now I don't want to hear any more of this Kisame-san. She will go on a date with Zetsu-san and you will not follow her or try to stop her in any way. Understand?" Kisame must have nodded because you couldn't hear a reply. "Good, now go before you cause me anymore stress today and send your sister in."

The door to Leader's room opened suddenly and your blue-toned brother stormed out as calmly as he could a look of utter displeasure on his face. Seeing you across the hall he crooked a finger at you. You came quickly not wanting to upset him anymore.

"When you go on that date with Zetsu-san, you are to do nothing and I mean absolutely nothing with him."

"But wouldn't that counter act the point of the date?"

"You know what I mean, if I find out you did anything, I'll-"

"You'll what? Spank me? I'm an adult I can do what I want Onii-san!" Your brother swelled in anger but you ignored him pushing past to enter Leader-sama's room.

It was dark inside just like when Leader-sama had told you the ground rules for the dating, one of which you had broken with Hidan: Don't kill or mortally wound one another… _Fuck_!

"Hoshigaki-san do you know why you are here?"

"Umm…Hidan?"

"Precisely since you are the one he attacked I thought it only fair that you help decide his punishment."

"Huh? I mean okay…so what did you have in mind?"

"Well currently we have done this to him," Pein pointed to the ceiling. Looking up you saw Hidan hanging blindfolded and spread eagle from the roof with long chains with leather cuffs. His cloak was removed baring his chest where several longs deep welts marred his skin. He was nearly unconscious which could be why you didn't hear him but he also was gagged with heavy duty leather straps muffling any additional sound.

"We were wondering if you wanted any further punishment don— Hoshigaki-san your nose it's…"

"Wah?" You held a hand up to your nose only to find a stream of blood running from it. "Oh! I uh…sorry…"

"That's fine…as I was saying is there anything else you'd like done to him?"

"No, no…yeah I think what you've done is good, very good. Probably didn't learn his lesson but he looks damn sexy not learning it."

"All right then, we'll put him back into his room. Konan."

"Cool I'll just be going then…"

"Hang on since you arrived back so early form your date with Hidan, your Brother wanted you to go on you date with Zetsu-san today as well. I think it is a good idea too, we should probably wrap this up as soon as possible."

"Okay, sounds great, he can't be any worse than Hidan."

"Not really, but if tries to eat you, make sure you tell me, we're trying to wean him off living human flesh…"

"Huh?" Your eye brows shot up quickly in shock.

"…dead flesh is fine, and make sure he doesn't eat anyone else either."

"Yeah sure," you said slightly dazed, you left after that your right eye twitching violently.

* * *

You and Zetsu sat on a grassy hillside beneath you there was a clichéd red and white checkered blanket. Between you was a small basket that contained lunch along with two glasses and a bottle of what appeared to be very expensive red wine. Zetsu was very kind and didn't seem at all the type of person to eat human flesh or course most people didn't think you were half shark either. You had to say you were a tad surprised when you found out that each half of Zetsu was a different personality and they were both called Zetsu, but whatever you had seen odder things in the Mist Village; though you did admit that when Zetsu transported you through the ground it was rather scary.

Anyways, you and Zetsu were sitting enjoying a delicious meal and drinking high quality wine under the watchful eye of one of Kisame's subordinates. (After all Leader-sama only said Kisame couldn't follow you.)

"Did you put this together yourselves Zetsu-san?"

"**Yes,**" his black half responded.

"Do you like it," asked white pouring themselves and you some more wine.

"Yes it's delicious, and thanks again for healing my wrist." You said taking a sip of the wine, feeling a slight rush as alcohol raced through your system.

"Of course, we have a question for you."

"Sure, anything you want."

"Kakuzu-san mentioned to me the other day a very particular jutsu you preformed on a Leaf ANBU**, biting him and drinking his blood, **and we were wondering if you could tell us what that was all about."

"Okay, hmm…well you can say it's an information gathering jutsu, I'm not sure how it even works exactly…though the blood drinking isn't necessary it's just fun…hmm, maybe it'd be better if I just show you." Setting down your glass carefully on the grass and kneeled in front of Zetsu.

"This is what I know: I can gather basic information from somebody by having skin-to-skin contact, however, if I want detailed information I must touch them with a more intimate and sensitive part of my body…" You leaned inside of Zetsu's Venus fly trap so your faces were only a few centimeters apart, "like my mouth."

Zetsu's breathing was ragged as you lean in and pressed your lips against his, they were surprisingly soft but then again there were a lot of surprising things about Zetsu. You pulled back just enough that the tips of your noses were brushing together. "Now I know that your Venus flytrap is actually comp-" Your words were cut off when the large plant snapped shut incasing you inside with Zetsu's head. Nonplused you tried to pull your head out but the plant was too strong; still in slight daze you placed your hands on either side of the flytrap (or girl-trap in this case), determined to push your way out.

It didn't budge.

Your hands dropped uselessly to your side. "Zetsu."

"**Yes?**"

"My head is stuck."

"So it is…"

"Well?"

"**Well what?"**

"Are you going to undo your flytrap so I can get out?"

"**No I don't think we will…"** Zetsu grabbed your hands and pushed you down so that he was now leaning over you, "we rather like you in this position."

"Yeah but I don't," and with one swift movement you delivered a vicious kick to Zetsu's groin. This had the desired effect of releasing your head from the flytrap however; this only allowed Zetsu to push you completely to the ground. _'Fuck! Maybe Onii-san was right…maybe.'_

There was a rustling from the bushes and Kisame's watchdog came out of the foliage kunai raised. Zetsu smiled his pointed teeth looking more shark-like than your brother's ever did. "Perfect, **here's our main course.**"

He forced your hands together are tied them with ninja wire and slapped a paper bomb on knot, "**I hope I don't need to tell you what will happened if you move**." You didn't respond except with a scowl.

Zetsu moved away towards the other ninja licking his lips. The subordinate lunged towards the plant-man, a fool's move because this gave Zetsu the opportunity to disarm him and drag him back into the bushes. There was a terrible scream you likened to an animal right before slaughter as you saw the flytrap disappear out of sight. The screams and pleading were joined by loud sickening crunches and squelching noises similar to the over enthusiastic bites of a child on a fresh piece of corn on the cob. The pleading soon died to a faint whimpering then silence from the victim.

You could see nothing except for a stream of blood that was creeping from under the bushes pulled towards you by the gentle slant of the hill. The red rivulets gathered along the edge of your arm staining the beautiful light blue shirt you had borrowed from Konan a deep red. There was rustling of the bush leaves that drew your attention away from the pooling blood. Zetsu stepped out his face and entire upper body covered in blood. He had removed his cloak revealing to you where the flytrap fused with the skin and muscles of his upper shoulders.

He came back over and leaned over your body removing the paper bomb in the process, "Misuki-san is a good girl for not moving, **we prefer them alive and whole.**"

Zetsu pressed his lips against yours in an entirely un-arousing kiss, his tongue slid against your lips but you refused to open them. He tried again this time the slimy appendage tried to push past your lips, you continues to hold your ground against his assault. Snarling in frustration Zetsu did what he did best and bit your bottom lip piercing it with his pointed teeth. He paused and gazed at the blood pouring from the puncture wounds; then he began lapping at the blood in a way that seemed almost apologetic.

He drew back slightly a mad hunger in his eyes that hadn't been there before even after he had finished eating that man. "You taste much sweeter than that other guy** we can't wait to have more.**"

Zetsu went to lick up the blood that was pouring down your cheeks when there was yet again a rustling of the bushes however, this time it was accompanied by a familiar voice, "Zetsu-san! Misuki-chan! Where are you?"

"**What the hell do you want?**" Zetsu asked venomously.

"Kisame-sempai asked me to make sure you weren't doing anything naughty to Misuki-chan and that you hadn't eaten his subordinate! But I see Zetsu-san has been a very bad boy!"

"**Go away brat I was in the middle of something!**"

"Sorry Zetsu-san but Tobi likes Misuki-chan," Tobi suddenly jumped and sent a kick flying towards Zetsu, "so Tobi can't let you hurt her anymore!" The kick made contact with Zetsu's chest sending the plant man sliding down the hill and then he was rolling and rolling and rolling… Apparently when pushed down a hill Zetsu's flytrap was more of hindrance than a help.

"BYE ZETSU-SAN!" Tobi yelled before he bent down and carefully removed the ninja wire, sharp enough that it simply resting against your skin had created a few shallow cuts.

"You have impeccable timing Tobi," you said hugging him tightly, "Thank you so much!"

"Tobi is sorry Tobi didn't arrive sooner."

"That's okay Tobi, I'm just glad you arrived when you did."

"But Zetsu-san still hurt Misuki-chan," disappointment seemed to ooze off of the ninja.

"I'm sure there's something you could do about that," you said suggestively.

The eye you could see though Tobi's mask brightened, "Tobi knows! Tobi will kiss you better!" He pushed his mask up so only his lips were showing and grabbed one of your wrists. Tobi's lips were soft against the sensitive skin of your inner wrist, a quick flick of his tongue made you shiver. Your other hand tried to remove some more of his mask but he caught it half way up and pressed his mouth into it.

"Not yet," he whispered switching his attentions to your abused wrist. You moaned softly as his kisses made their way up the underside of your arm. Your eyes slid closed under his gentle menstruations, the same pool of lava that had formed with Hidan was forming again. It felt so good you hardly noticed when Tobi picked you up; what you did notice though, was an odd twisting sensation and a sudden change in temperature.

"Wha-!" Your eyes snapped opened and you rolled out of Tobi's arms landing on cold stone. You looked around there was only one window that framed the night sky. Another glance around the room and you concluded that you were once again in the Akatsuki hideout but with no explanation to how you got there.

"How the bloody hell did we get here?" You demanded of Tobi, who was grinning stupidly.

"Is Misuki-chan mad at Tobi? Tobi thought Misuki-chan would like getting back quick. Tobi is sorry…" Tobi's face fell and his shoulder's slumped drastically.

"No its find Tobi, I was just surprised, that's all. I mean that's a pretty amazing jutsu you've got there."

"Thank you Misuki-chan! I want to sh—" Tobi fell silent and it looked like he was listening to something, "Oops! Tobi has to go see Leader-sama now!" He pulled his swirly mask back down and scampered to the door. "Misuki-chan might want to come too, then we can get ice cream!"

"Umm…okay," you took his out stretched hand and he pulled you out the door and down the hall to leader's chambers.

* * *

Later that after you and Tobi had finished off an entire carton of ice cream, you found yourself wandering around the compound contemplating who you should choose the next morning. It actually all seem rather ridiculous, after all how were you supposed to get figure out who to date after only meeting them once? You knew Zetsu was definitely out of the question and Kakuzu was too just for being a dick. Itachi seemed nice enough but you had the feeling he wasn't into you and he wasn't that fun. Fun described Deidara well enough but one the other hand he is a nut job. That only left Hidan and Tobi.

'_Hidan is uber sexy and Tobi quite hot. Hidan likes swearing too and I can't kill him in a fit of rage, like I could Tobi. Hidan is somewhat of an asshole though, while Tobi is kinda…stupid…maybe I'll go talk to Nii-kun, hopefully he's calmed down enough.'_ Smiling you skipped down the corridor to what you knew to be your brother's room, you were about to knock when a muffled scream came from inside. Whipping out one of your kunai you burst through the door only to stop at the traumatic sight inside.

Itachi was saddling Kisame's with his arms held behind his back with thick leather straps. A red ball was in his mouth drool leaking from both sides and he was screaming with what appeared to be ecstasy. Your brother was moaning as well his eye shut tight as he thrust his hips upwards impaling the Uchiha over and over again. Neither one had noticed your presence even when you said "Hypocrite!" accusingly and ran out the door back to the room you had been given.

Slumping against the door in shock you tried to process what you had just seen but were failing dismally. _'Maybe I should just go to bed, I can figure it out in the morning.'_ With that you fell into your bed without even undressing prepared for a good night's sleep. _'Wow the Akatsuki really like leather'_ and with that you fell asleep.

* * *

All the Akatsuki were seated in the den awaiting your decision the next morning and all watching you intently, except for your brother who was looking away determinedly. "Well let's hear it," Leader-sama said.

"Yeah, bitch, hurry up!"

"I'll take my sweet time if I want to bastard," you took a deep breath and crossed your fingers, "My choice is…Tobi!"

"YAY! Tobi won! Tobi won! It worked Zets-san! Tobi won!" Tobi jumped up from his cross-legged seat on the floor and hugged you tightly.

"Let's go Misuki-chan," he whispered in your ear, then his voice changed to the other deeper voice he had used in the cave, "I want to show you what a good boy I can be…" Without waiting for a response he scooped you up bridal style and ran from the room. As the walls whizzed by you, you gulped wishing deeply you didn't made the wrong choice.

* * *

**Well I wasn't quite sure how to end it without adding a ton more and I kinda wanted to finish this story so I can work on others but if enough people ask I just might try and write a lemon type thing or a epilouge for Tobi/Misuki here! And also I don't support Zetsu as a rapist but I really need something different for this one, I actually think he'd be nice guy! And if your wondering, yes, Tobi/Madara asked Zetsu to attack Misuki so he could save her (devious bastard!) but then again what else would you expect he gets what he wants?**

**Thank you again for all your reveiws and just simply reading this! OH! and if someone wanted to draw that scene with Kisame/Itachi please do and send it to me or if you find one simmilar, I really would appriciate it!**


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